Rant:Parent Homework

I have 3 children, 2 of them are in school.  I think I have done more homework then both of them combined this year.  What is the deal with that?

I finally lost my homework marbles this weekend when my 4 year old came home with the Mystery Bag from preschool.  Of course the minute we walked in the door he was off to fill it and I in turn promptly forgot about it.....until backpack packing time.  You know, that frantic time between 9:00 and 9:30 PM on Sunday night when you run around frantically trying to make sure everyone is set to go on Monday morning.  Notebooks are signed, library books are accounted for, snacks are packed, clean clothes laid out, that kind of thing.

I decided I should at least see what kind of crap stuff Middle Child had thrown into the Mystery Bag.  Upon opening the bag I discovered a set of directions FOR.THE.PARENTS.  It stated how much fun this project would be to do with your child, blah, blah, blah.  It also went on to say that they did not want your child to bring in toys and it would be much better if the items that were in the bag could somehow relate to the theme/letter/number/color of the week.  HOLY HELL.  It gets better.

Not only can it not be toys and has to relate to what they are learning about, you also need to help your child come up with clues to describe the items to the class.  I guess they don't want Middle Child running into the classroom, blurting out what the items are after they I spent so much time (read: 5 minutes) figuring out what to put in the bag.

So in my mad dash to fill the mystery bag and return it to school on Monday morning like a good attentive mother would do.  I quickly stuff a colored on football that was sitting on the counter waiting to be washed off for the letter F and I cut some adorable Valentine hearts out of pink post-its.  BOOY-AH two for one.  Pink is color and Valentine is the theme this week.

Damn I almost looked like I had my act together as I dropped Middle Child off 5 minutes late, wearing snowpants that are 2 sizes too small and his boots on the wrong feet.  Good thing the teachers couldn't see Baby Child still in his jammies eating his breakfast in the car......they would never accept his application for next year.

Got to run, have to finish a globe made out of a non-round object and cut out all the words I can find that start with the letter Q for alphabet book.

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Hurry Up and be Sarcastic and Witty

Well, I just linked my blog up over at the hilarious blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat and now I need to have something new and witty to write in case anyone pops over here.  AHHHH.  I don't do well under pressure.  Kidding...I do best under pressure.  I wait until the last minute to everything because I live for the pressure....or the fact that I have three insanely high maintenance children who never let me get anything done in a relaxed, timely fashion.

I really have nothing, so Hi!  to everyone who stops by.  Maybe I will be back tomorrow with something profound and life altering to add to the blog world!

2012 Goals

Here it is a new year and just like every new year I am going to set some goals that I will never achieve.  If I put them in writing then there is a slightly higher chance that I may actually work towards accomplishing some of them.

Here they are in no particular order:

1.Purge and clean my house  We are truly just one pile of crap away from being on an episode of Hoarders.  If they based it solely on my 8 year old's room, we are in hands down.  I want to do a deep clean and purge of each room and then try to only have to do quick weekly clean-ups.  But since I have 3 children and I hate to clean, this is a very lofty goal.

2.Attend one craft fair/boutique as a vendor I attend plenty as a consumer, now its time to get my stockpile going and be ready come Fall.

3.Eat healthier and work out sometimes  I am setting the bar low on this one.  I hate to cook, my family hates everything I cook and hauling 3 kids in and out of the gym is more of a workout then my 30 minutes on the treadmill is even worth.

4.Scrapbook 2011.  I ordered this kit to help me get started.  I figure I will do month by month and someday go back and work in each child's book individually.  Again, a lofty goal since I have no where to leave things out that isn't accessible to sticky nasty little hands.  And because someone is demanding my attention about 23 hours out of every single day.

5.Be in more pictures with my children.  If you go back and look at their scrapbooks (who am I kidding the oldest is the only one who has one or more scrapbooks) you would think they are just well-dressed, color-coordinating motherless children.  Sure some fat, sweaty lady with a crazed look on her face shows up in a picture every once in awhile, but not nearly enough to prove that they actually have a mother.

6.Take more pictures and get them uploaded and ordered in a timely fashion.  This probably isn't going to happen since the baby's 6 month pictures turned into 12 month pictures and are still sitting on a CD under a pile of stuff somewhere in our Hoarder house.  Did I mention that said baby will be turning 2 tomorrow?

7.Find a way to have the kids do more work around here   There has to be some sort of incentive/reward/mind game out there will actually make my kids want to help.  I am willing to pay top dollar for it at this point, if you know of something, please help a Mama out!

Well, I think that is enough work for one year in addition to all the stuff I have to do on a daily basis. You know like keep the kids alive, the house from burning down and let's face it all that totally unnecessary stuff from Target isn't going to buy itself.

Happy New Year Y'all!